Sure! What I mean is that with Jacob, she has to fully own up to her desires in advance because he needs them to be explained to him; with Samuel, she can be more responsive and in-the-moment because he's naturally dominant and wants to explore this stuff on his own terms. He's also kind of a manic pixie dream dom / mind-reader, and seems to intuitively know what Romy wants before SHE even does. This isn't necessarily realistic, but I think it's important because it allows her to explore this part of herself without judgement or needing to think about how she can explain, intellectualize, and justify her desires. One could even see this as a generational divide, since Jacob has some outdated ideas about female masochism that Samuel doesn't share.
What does it bring up for you? Curious to hear your thoughts!
"It’s easier to reach new frontiers of vulnerability with someone unburdened by a shared history."
I love this sentence.
ooo I love this! thanks for highlighting the importance of exploring our authentic desires. It's so important.
<3 <3 <3
Now this was real
Loved your post. Really insightful. I wrote a little something on this too, in case you’re interested: https://lostcausesandotherconcerns.substack.com/p/playing-with-shame-babygirl-edition
ooh cool, can’t wait to read!!! ❣️
Could you talk more about what you said here?; ‘he offers Romy an excuse to embrace her desires without taking ownership of them’
Sure! What I mean is that with Jacob, she has to fully own up to her desires in advance because he needs them to be explained to him; with Samuel, she can be more responsive and in-the-moment because he's naturally dominant and wants to explore this stuff on his own terms. He's also kind of a manic pixie dream dom / mind-reader, and seems to intuitively know what Romy wants before SHE even does. This isn't necessarily realistic, but I think it's important because it allows her to explore this part of herself without judgement or needing to think about how she can explain, intellectualize, and justify her desires. One could even see this as a generational divide, since Jacob has some outdated ideas about female masochism that Samuel doesn't share.
What does it bring up for you? Curious to hear your thoughts!
I am Jacob.
Well he's played by Antonio Banderas, so it could be worse...
Sorry you're going through that, I've been there! Would be curious to hear more about your experience if you're open to sharing