Quick & Dirty: $75K Boners, Kanye’s Divorce, and the Horny New World Order

Camille breaks down the latest in sex, power, and pop culture—from bizarre bidding wars to viral scandals and Pete Davidson’s identity wipe

I’m back with another edition of Quick & Dirty, a fun, flirty news roundup unpacking current events through the lens of desire. This time: exciting cinematic news for anyone experiencing a sexual and/or existential crisis, my predictions about the cultural aftermath of the Skims nipple bra, whether Pete Davidson’s tattoo removal is a sign of the recession, statistics on the ultimate boner, and so much more.

Trump might legally be the first female president.
That’s because in an executive order, he declared that sex is determined at conception—at which point male genitalia has yet to develop. What a time to be alive!

We need to talk about Kanye.
At the Grammys, Bianca Censori (Kanye’s wife) dropped her coat to reveal a skin-tight, completely sheer dress, while he (of course) remained fully clothed. Taken in concert with Kim Kardashian’s recent testimony and what we’ve seen from Bianca so far, the display sparked discourse about gender, power, and agency—plus the question of whether they’re in an abusive relationship. If this wasn’t a dealbreaker for Censori, though, his antisemitism apparently is—according to The New York Post, she’s “done with the circus” and filing for divorce. Good for her!

Bianca Censori has the opportunity to do the funniest thing imaginable…

Brian Johnson is measuring his boners—and people are bidding on the results.
The youth-obsessed tech mogul claims that at age 18, it’s optimal to have “two-and-a-half to three hours of boners per night” and brags that his son—who donated a liter of his blood plasma to keep his father young—is in the 90th percentile for morning wood. Somehow, this literal dick-measuring contest has turned into a betting market, with someone placing $75,000 that Johnson’s—well, Johnson—stays hard for over 2 hours and 12 minutes per night. “Fuck yeah,” Interview’s Mel Ottenberg said. Anyway, Johnson’s hiring an editor, if anyone’s looking for a really cool and normal work environment.

Speaking of cool and normal work environments!
If you saw Nicole Kidman sucking on her intern’s tie in Babygirl and thought, That should be me—good news: there’s now an official Babygirl auction where you can bid on props and wardrobe items. No surprise, Harris Dickinson’s underwear is the highest-priced item, but you could always opt for something more affordable, like the inflatable dog they used during production. My only question: Where is that damn milk cup?

Left: Inflatable dog from Babygirl option. Right: Harris Dickinson's coveted underpants.

If the viral nipple bra wasn’t enough…
Skims just dropped the “ultimate butt,” a lineup of boob- and ass-enhancing bodysuits designed to mimic its founder’s silhouette. In this case, life mimics art: a few years ago, designer Beate Karlsson of AVAVAV created a wearable silicone replica of Kim’s famous bum. Will Kim get sued for intellectual property theft—and pen an Emily Ratajkowski-style essay about “buying her bum back”? Watch this space.

Pete Davidson removed his tattoos, showing off his newly bare skin in a Reformation ad—and some think it’s a recession indicator. I always think about Ephemeral Tattoo, which set up shop in my neighborhood a few years ago promising “real tattoos that disappear.” I took one look and thought, this isn’t going to last—but apparently, the tattoos do, so a bunch of people are stuck with dumb “temporary tattoos” they got on a dare. Anyway, there’s a Keds store there now.

Kim’s bum (Beate’s version).

Are cosmetics campaigns too pervy—or not pervy enough?
The cosmetics brand recently launched “I Only Wear MAC,” a campaign featuring Julia Fox, Beabadoobee, and Martha Stewart posing nude to promote its new nude lipsticks. Genius marketing—though you won’t get my dollar until they bring back the shade “Pervette,” as Magdalene Taylor kindly requested in our last podcast episode.

Miranda July’s steamy novel All Fours is getting a TV adaptation.
I love that we’re seeing more media about middle-aged female protagonists in sexual or existential crises—The Substance, The Last Showgirl, and of course Babygirl. I’m manifesting that Babygirl’s director Halina Reijn directs All Fours, and that I get to interview them about it.

Sex in movies is back, baby!
At Sundance, films tackled sex, gender, and modern dating, leading Dazed to ask directors for “Criterion-worthy dating advice.” (There’s a joke about being in the closet here, but I won’t make it.)

Mikey Madison in the criterion closet (also me until age 18)

IMO, the resurgence of sex in cinema—plus these sexy ad campaigns and hyper-sexualized undergarments—only confirms what Dazed (and I!!) have been saying: everyone is horny again, and we’re about to see it refracted across culture. Magdalene Taylor and I got into this in the latest episode of Pleasure-Seeking—we had so much fun we had to keep going, so expect a follow-up episode soon.

A moment of real talk:

You guys seem to love this format, and I love doing these roundups—but it takes time to read all this and break it down for you, so it would be very cool and sexy if more of you started paying me $6/month (or more, if you’ve got your shit together). Make a girl feel special!

Elsewhere on the internet…

• Husband tries to blame divorce on lack of sex, loses in Europe’s highest court (and the court of public opinion.)

• Gen X women are having the best sex, according to The New York Times.

• Feed Me’s Emily Sundberg did a sex and relationships survey. The verdict? Two sugar daddies are better than one (obviously).

• Vogue declares that the bush is back in 2025. To which I say: Where the hell you been, loca?

In case you missed it…

• From gangbangs to gifts, I asked creatives to share their most romantic memories for Valentine’s Day, featuring contributions from Caroline Calloway, Molly Soda, Emmeline Clein, Jessica DeFino, and many more.

• What happens when women hide their desires? My take on Babygirl, ft. reflections on performative desire and my own ménage à trois with my coworker.

• 🎧 Predicting our sexual future with Magdalene Taylor on the Pleasure-Seeking podcast.

• I debuted a new advice column, and the next edition is going to be free for all—so now’s the time to send me your juiciest questions (it’s completely anonymous.)

Oh, and I have a question for you:

Have you ever hooked up with someone for the plot—or heard your own love life on someone else’s podcast?

In the age of the personal brand, every date is potential content, whether for a Substack essay, viral TikTok, or a juicy group chat. How do you think social media is reshaping intimacy? Have you rebranded post-breakup, or navigated the fallout of a public relationship? Where do you draw the line between private and public in your love life?

I’m working on a story and want to hear from you! Share your experience anonymously HERE—if you’re open to an interview, leave your contact info, and I’ll reach out. (Names can be changed in the final piece.)

I’m excited to work on more stories involving the Pleasure-Seeking community, so feel free to share your suggestions for potential topics or join our group chat where I’ll be posing these kinds of questions more regularly.

xoxo
Camille