Quick & Dirty: The sexiest and most scintillating news stories of the week

From 2024's top porn searches to celebrity scandals and the woman who slept with 100 men, Camille breaks down the latest in desire

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Welcome to Quick & Dirty, a news roundup unpacking current events through the lens of desire. This is a new format I’m experimenting with, so let me know what you think! And as always, sound off in the comments—I’d love to hear your take.

• Charli XCX is making people kinkier. According to Feeld’s annual report, the massive cultural impact of brat coincided with a 460 percent increase in Gen Z members adding the term “brat” to their profiles, as well as a 560 percent rise in young people describing themselves as “brat tamers.” It begs the question…

• Will our collective thirst for the hot assassin lead to a rise in assassin-themed roleplay? This wouldn’t be unprecedented: After Fleabag’s infamously hot priest become an unlikely sex symbol, searches for religious porn rose 162 percent. After discussing the matter over dinner with Asa Akira and Alex Kekesi of Pornhub, I’m going on the record now and predict that yes, we are about to see a surge in Luigi-themed porn and erotica.

• Speaking of erotica, Perverted Book Club returned this week to resounding applause. Standout readings included historic erotica starring none other than Lewis and Clark, who took a break from exploring the globe to, well, explore each other’s bodies. Jemima Kirke delivered a rousing reading about situational lesbianism, and her sister Lola Kirke had the crowd cackling with some improbably funny Reddit-sourced smut about marriage, “the most erotic thing of all.” Lilli Anolik read a “consensual sex scene” between father and daughter, which seems like something of an oxymoron, but who am I to judge. And American writer and businessman James Frey closed out the night with a filthy original reading that he presented as an anecdote from his personal sex life, though I have my doubts given that he is famously known for making stuff up and passing it off as fact.

• Sabrina Carpenter released a horny little holiday special called “A Nonsense Christmas,” ft. appearances by Chappell Roan, Tyla, Kali Uchis, and more. She’s also dealing with some nonsense of her own: Barry Keoghan is rumored to have cheated on her after she specifically asked him not to, a fumble so bad that the entire internet appears to be chastising him about it. In response, he issued a notes app defense and dyed his hair blonde, which I’m taking as a sign of guilt. Timothée Chalamet has also gone blonde for a new look Twitter denizens are calling “Serena van der Woodsen’s gay brother after he’s discharged from the asylum.”

Barry Keoghan and Timothée Chalamet's blonde makeovers.

• OnlyFans model Lily Phillips slept with 100 men in one day, then broke down on camera recounting the emotional toll. Captured in a YouTube documentary, the moment has sparked discourse about objectification, empowerment, and the politics of sex work. Interestingly, it’s also drawn comparisons to Marina Abramović’s “Rhythm 0,” a six-hour-long endurance art piece that involved inviting the audience to do whatever they wanted to her naked body using the 72 objects placed on a table—including a gun, rose, feather, honey, grapes, wine, scissors, a scalpel, nails, a metal bar, a gun, and a bullet. The side-by-side comparisons of the two women—both physically battered, with tears in their eyes—speaks not to the inherent emotional effects of sleeping with men for money, but of realizing what happens when people are given an opportunity to do what they want to your body with no consequences.

  

  Left: OnlyFans star Lily Phillips after sleeping with 100 men in 14 hours. Right: Performance artist Marina Abramović following her six-hour performance “Rhythm 0.”

• “We listen and we don’t judge” is the name of a new TikTok trend that straight couples are using to tell on themselves. The premise is that they are creating a “judgement-free zone” by chanting the phrase, then filming themselves admitting things they’ve never told each other before. The confessions themselves vary widely, from nasty hygiene habits and secret single behavior to stealing from charities and inappropriate sexual conduct with relatives. Of course, this trend is catnip for viewers—because if there’s one thing people on the internet love to watch, it’s a train wreck happening in slow motion.

• Meanwhile, employees of SWISS airlines were listening and judging as a couple got it on near the cockpit mid-flight. The cameras onboard don’t actually record security footage, but someone onboard filmed the live broadcast then allegedly posted the video of them having sex online. This sparked an investigation for violation of privacy. Obviously, disseminating footage of other people having sex without permission is wrong—but I also can’t believe these guys joined the mile-high club and brought the airline to their knees.

• Move over Spotify Wrapped, Pornhub just released its year in review! And, seemingly against all odds, what’s hot this year is being demure and mindful—literally. Searches for the word “demure” increased 133 percent this year, and “mindful pleasure” is up 112 percent. Trad wives are also big this year, especially Mormon ones.

  

  Screenshot from Pornhub's year in review data report.

  Coworker crushes were also big, and the phrase “Hawk Tuah,” coined by Haliey Welch in a viral clip, was searched over 10 million times.

• Speaking of which, “Hawk Tuah girl” might need to talk tuah lawyer—because after parlaying her niche acclaim into a media empire, she’s now being investigated by the SEC for an alleged crypto scam following the failed launch of her memecoin $HAWK. After hitting a $490M valuation, it then abruptly plunged by more than 90% in what has been called a “pump and dump” scheme. This came a couple months after she launched her podcast “Talk Tuah,” weeks after she launched her AI-powered dating app Pookie Tools, and hours after Interview mag published a conversation between her and scandalous internet celebrity Caroline Calloway (who, by the way, is claiming to have slept with Luigi Mangione.) People are accusing her of lying about this online, but I want to believe—so Caroline, if you’re reading this, answer my text!)

• Oh, and men on the internet are getting upset that Sydney Sweeney looks like …a human being… in some recent paparazzi photos?? As far as I can tell, these guys are only accustomed to interacting with women in public and through the hyper-curated images they see online, hence the catfishing allegations when they see them without makeup. What’s funny about this is they think it reflects poorly on her, instead of demonstrating that they’ve never woken up next to a beautiful woman before.

Elsewhere on the internet…

• Lana cites Freud in video clip explaining her love for her alligator husband

• The Cut declares it “The Year of the Office Pervert” (cc: Pornhub Wrapped!)

• NPR breaks down “Microfeminism: the next big thing in fighting the patriarchy”

• Lamar Odom says he ordered a life-size sex doll of ex-wife Khloe Kardashian. Yikes!

Lately on Pleasure-Seeking…

• The Pretty Face of Populist Rage

  • I bravely asked “What if the UHC shooter wasn’t hot?” and analyzed how the babygirl-ification of Luigi Mangione reflects the state of politics and desire. My piece was included in this week’s Substack Reads.

• Love in the Time of Lookalike Contests

  • I reported on the Timothée Chalamet lookalike competition, interviewing doppelgängers and fangirls to understand the actor’s singular sex appeal and how he ended up at the center of this surreal modern dating ritual. Critics and fans are calling it “true journalism” and “one of the funniest things they’ve read all year.”

• The Pleasure-Seeking Gift Guide

  • My contribution to the gift guide industrial complex. No rules, no affiliate links—just recommendations and reflections from my favorite writers, artists, and perverts, including Ottessa Moshfegh, Natasha Stagg, Marissa Zappas, Molly Crabapple, Eliza McLamb, Biz Sherbert, Matt Starr & more.

If you saw me quoted in a recent New York Times article about gift guide fatigue, no you didn’t. But if you saw me interviewed in The New York Times about my work with Pleasure-Seeking… Well, yes!!

xoxo
Camille