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Thomas Whitt's avatar

I remember the first time someone mentioned this re: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” and it just floored me. Listen to her describe Jolene’s physical attributes and tell me there’s nothing going on…

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Janoma Omena's avatar

That song was so spahhiccxx

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.,¤°✿princess babygirl's avatar

This was hyper-readable. I love that it was reported, too. I never read your original column - did not even know about it until now - but I look forward to reading your Substack.

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Harley Claes's avatar

My first love was my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend! (He didnt make the cut) I’ve always had this weird attraction to my exes exes. Jealousy mixed with envy and attraction, for sure.

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Harley Claes's avatar

I always thought this was an isolated incident for me, so i’m surprised its a rather common phenomenon, the sapphic aspect! Im so glad someone spoke on it, and relates, because I also always felt weird/creepy for it as well. I’m hoping that someday I share this kind of correspondence with the women i’ve been in similar positions with.

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Camille Sojit Pejcha's avatar

so glad to hear it resonates with you! i felt the same way til i wrote about it, was honestly quite nervous to publish but then so many women messaged me to share they'd had similar experiences

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helmingstay's avatar

Some beautiful anthropology here. Thank you for sharing.

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Camille Sojit Pejcha's avatar

i love that way of framing it!

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Ezza's avatar

my frontal lobe developed reading this

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izzy's avatar

Beautifully written

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Camille Sojit Pejcha's avatar

thank you <3

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Abigail A Mlinar Burns's avatar

Doesn't this just explain everything 🙈

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Thaís Basan's avatar

Once I was talking to my ex boyfriend that if we were going to be on an open relationship he wouldn’t be with just any girl. I said I was going to choose the ones I found most attractive. Then he said “I think you’re the one lusting after these girls”. And that’s how I found out I’m bisexual.

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Janoma Omena's avatar

Oh this was such an interesting read 🤭🤭 thanks for the references too it’s nice to see the web notes of terms like comp het

While I’ve not directly been on this situation I

Do relate to being attracted to women I’ve been jealous of before and it feels like a canon event for queer women

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not milani's avatar

Loved this and simultaneously hated that it felt like yet another original experience was taken from me

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Isabelle Elena's avatar

The only appropriate response to this post was to do a deep dive into your Instagram and I definitely have an even bigger crush than your writing initiated.

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Camille Sojit Pejcha's avatar

u get it <3

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Saturnina Veloz's avatar

absolutely revealing because I feel 100% identified

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Camille Sojit Pejcha's avatar

i'd love to interview you about this! working on a broader piece where i speak with others who relate to this experience <3

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Saturnina Veloz's avatar

I'd love to. As well as something i said on another comment (don't remember exactly what lol) about s3x work. I don't think i have a great english but i'd be glad to do it!

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Ethan's avatar

"One of my friends said she used to masturbate to pictures of the women she was pitted against romantically, channeling her jealousy into sexual gratification."

love the in lieu hate-fucking-turned-control-seeking this sentence is.

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Alma Jette's avatar

this popped up in my notes, so wonderful, thanks for sharing!

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Nova Richards's avatar

I can't work out whether I understand myself more or less after reading this but I was hooked start to finish either way

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alexandrea's avatar

Brb going to stalk my boyfriend’s ex’s instagram… yeah maybe him and I have the same type…

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