I remember the first time someone mentioned this re: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” and it just floored me. Listen to her describe Jolene’s physical attributes and tell me there’s nothing going on…
My first love was my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend! (He didnt make the cut) I’ve always had this weird attraction to my exes exes. Jealousy mixed with envy and attraction, for sure.
I always thought this was an isolated incident for me, so i’m surprised its a rather common phenomenon, the sapphic aspect! Im so glad someone spoke on it, and relates, because I also always felt weird/creepy for it as well. I’m hoping that someday I share this kind of correspondence with the women i’ve been in similar positions with.
so glad to hear it resonates with you! i felt the same way til i wrote about it, was honestly quite nervous to publish but then so many women messaged me to share they'd had similar experiences
This was hyper-readable. I love that it was reported, too. I never read your original column - did not even know about it until now - but I look forward to reading your Substack.
Once I was talking to my ex boyfriend that if we were going to be on an open relationship he wouldn’t be with just any girl. I said I was going to choose the ones I found most attractive. Then he said “I think you’re the one lusting after these girls”. And that’s how I found out I’m bisexual.
The only appropriate response to this post was to do a deep dive into your Instagram and I definitely have an even bigger crush than your writing initiated.
I loved this article and it kind of blew my mind. I want to add that Inuit people are hurt by the word eskimo and it is a slur. Only recently learned this so passing it on.
My wife is bisexual. (I asked her if I could share this.) Through my experiences with her, along with thinking about other experiences I’ve known, I’ve come to the conclusion that bisexuality is the default human condition for all but a very few. (This may be especially so for women.) Where each person falls on the spectrum between heterosexuality and homosexuality varies, of course. (Choices pertaining that, also of course, rightly belong to no one but the person themselves.)
I remember the first time someone mentioned this re: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” and it just floored me. Listen to her describe Jolene’s physical attributes and tell me there’s nothing going on…
That song was so spahhiccxx
My first love was my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend! (He didnt make the cut) I’ve always had this weird attraction to my exes exes. Jealousy mixed with envy and attraction, for sure.
I always thought this was an isolated incident for me, so i’m surprised its a rather common phenomenon, the sapphic aspect! Im so glad someone spoke on it, and relates, because I also always felt weird/creepy for it as well. I’m hoping that someday I share this kind of correspondence with the women i’ve been in similar positions with.
so glad to hear it resonates with you! i felt the same way til i wrote about it, was honestly quite nervous to publish but then so many women messaged me to share they'd had similar experiences
This was hyper-readable. I love that it was reported, too. I never read your original column - did not even know about it until now - but I look forward to reading your Substack.
Some beautiful anthropology here. Thank you for sharing.
i love that way of framing it!
my frontal lobe developed reading this
Beautifully written
thank you <3
Doesn't this just explain everything 🙈
Once I was talking to my ex boyfriend that if we were going to be on an open relationship he wouldn’t be with just any girl. I said I was going to choose the ones I found most attractive. Then he said “I think you’re the one lusting after these girls”. And that’s how I found out I’m bisexual.
Oh this was such an interesting read 🤭🤭 thanks for the references too it’s nice to see the web notes of terms like comp het
While I’ve not directly been on this situation I
Do relate to being attracted to women I’ve been jealous of before and it feels like a canon event for queer women
Loved this and simultaneously hated that it felt like yet another original experience was taken from me
The only appropriate response to this post was to do a deep dive into your Instagram and I definitely have an even bigger crush than your writing initiated.
u get it <3
this popped up in my notes, so wonderful, thanks for sharing!
I loved this article and it kind of blew my mind. I want to add that Inuit people are hurt by the word eskimo and it is a slur. Only recently learned this so passing it on.
thanks for pointing this out, i changed the instance where it was used!
I can't work out whether I understand myself more or less after reading this but I was hooked start to finish either way
Brb going to stalk my boyfriend’s ex’s instagram… yeah maybe him and I have the same type…
My wife is bisexual. (I asked her if I could share this.) Through my experiences with her, along with thinking about other experiences I’ve known, I’ve come to the conclusion that bisexuality is the default human condition for all but a very few. (This may be especially so for women.) Where each person falls on the spectrum between heterosexuality and homosexuality varies, of course. (Choices pertaining that, also of course, rightly belong to no one but the person themselves.)