I remember the first time someone mentioned this re: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” and it just floored me. Listen to her describe Jolene’s physical attributes and tell me there’s nothing going on…
This was hyper-readable. I love that it was reported, too. I never read your original column - did not even know about it until now - but I look forward to reading your Substack.
My first love was my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend! (He didnt make the cut) I’ve always had this weird attraction to my exes exes. Jealousy mixed with envy and attraction, for sure.
I always thought this was an isolated incident for me, so i’m surprised its a rather common phenomenon, the sapphic aspect! Im so glad someone spoke on it, and relates, because I also always felt weird/creepy for it as well. I’m hoping that someday I share this kind of correspondence with the women i’ve been in similar positions with.
so glad to hear it resonates with you! i felt the same way til i wrote about it, was honestly quite nervous to publish but then so many women messaged me to share they'd had similar experiences
Once I was talking to my ex boyfriend that if we were going to be on an open relationship he wouldn’t be with just any girl. I said I was going to choose the ones I found most attractive. Then he said “I think you’re the one lusting after these girls”. And that’s how I found out I’m bisexual.
The only appropriate response to this post was to do a deep dive into your Instagram and I definitely have an even bigger crush than your writing initiated.
"One of my friends said she used to masturbate to pictures of the women she was pitted against romantically, channeling her jealousy into sexual gratification."
love the in lieu hate-fucking-turned-control-seeking this sentence is.
Slightly related and unrelated, your exes were cobbled together by their exes. So in some ways you fell in love with your exes because of some charm that their exes left within.
I'd love to. As well as something i said on another comment (don't remember exactly what lol) about s3x work. I don't think i have a great english but i'd be glad to do it!
I remember the first time someone mentioned this re: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” and it just floored me. Listen to her describe Jolene’s physical attributes and tell me there’s nothing going on…
That song was so spahhiccxx
Oooh, yeah
This was hyper-readable. I love that it was reported, too. I never read your original column - did not even know about it until now - but I look forward to reading your Substack.
My first love was my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend! (He didnt make the cut) I’ve always had this weird attraction to my exes exes. Jealousy mixed with envy and attraction, for sure.
I always thought this was an isolated incident for me, so i’m surprised its a rather common phenomenon, the sapphic aspect! Im so glad someone spoke on it, and relates, because I also always felt weird/creepy for it as well. I’m hoping that someday I share this kind of correspondence with the women i’ve been in similar positions with.
so glad to hear it resonates with you! i felt the same way til i wrote about it, was honestly quite nervous to publish but then so many women messaged me to share they'd had similar experiences
Beautifully written
thank you <3
Some beautiful anthropology here. Thank you for sharing.
i love that way of framing it!
Once I was talking to my ex boyfriend that if we were going to be on an open relationship he wouldn’t be with just any girl. I said I was going to choose the ones I found most attractive. Then he said “I think you’re the one lusting after these girls”. And that’s how I found out I’m bisexual.
my frontal lobe developed reading this
The only appropriate response to this post was to do a deep dive into your Instagram and I definitely have an even bigger crush than your writing initiated.
u get it <3
Doesn't this just explain everything 🙈
"One of my friends said she used to masturbate to pictures of the women she was pitted against romantically, channeling her jealousy into sexual gratification."
love the in lieu hate-fucking-turned-control-seeking this sentence is.
Oh this was such an interesting read 🤭🤭 thanks for the references too it’s nice to see the web notes of terms like comp het
While I’ve not directly been on this situation I
Do relate to being attracted to women I’ve been jealous of before and it feels like a canon event for queer women
Loved this and simultaneously hated that it felt like yet another original experience was taken from me
Slightly related and unrelated, your exes were cobbled together by their exes. So in some ways you fell in love with your exes because of some charm that their exes left within.
definitely related!! i think about this all the time
absolutely revealing because I feel 100% identified
i'd love to interview you about this! working on a broader piece where i speak with others who relate to this experience <3
I'd love to. As well as something i said on another comment (don't remember exactly what lol) about s3x work. I don't think i have a great english but i'd be glad to do it!
this popped up in my notes, so wonderful, thanks for sharing!
I can't work out whether I understand myself more or less after reading this but I was hooked start to finish either way